Argument!

In 10th grade, my friend and I were discussing reproductive rights.

I really enjoy talking with this person. Our opinions are different enough that we don’t agree on everything, but there is mutual respect and a desire to understand each other. I always feel that my ideas are valued when I talk with him.

This is why I was ashamed when he brought up something I disagreed with and immediately thought wrong.

I was about to argue with him when I remembered how he always listens to what I’m saying and why, instead of just rebutting it, which is how most conversations with other people go. I hate when I’m talking to someone and they don’t even try to understand my perspective. I realized I was doing the same thing to him.

I stopped, and I thought.

I thought about what he was saying and where it was coming from. My gut was to disagree, but after thinking for a little, I eventually agreed with him. He brought up an issue I had previously ignored. We talked about how the patriarchal system was ultimately the cause of both of these problems.

In the end, we had a productive conversation. We took the time to think instead of just arguing. This experience made me realize that the point of debating is not to convert everyone else to my opinion, but to share ideas and cultivate a mutual deeper understanding.

I try to remember this in every conversation.